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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

why do i have this feeling that it was kern who tagged as reader?

ack anyway, today i went gym with some of the other softballers...and im like wth this is damn heavy. seriously. i got suanned by neo and (of course) merrill. but i can take it. i can take it. i can live it down. like i always have.

terribly unfit. or as certain people would say never fit at all anyway. cant believe ive deproved so much since the nationals. from getting two out against cat high to like...nothing now.

(and yes, i do hold that as my highest achievement so...yeah you can tell how pathetic its been so far for me)

i wonder why i'm so emotional now. why do i keep...thinking and blogging about things that never did cross my mind at all before?

izit because of you?

izit becuase...i have to wait for a postivie response from you everyday?

sometimes you say "ok, coming back soon."

but instead the only time i next see you is at night the next day.

do i dare declare the thoughts that race through my mind each time i think of the possibilities? what could have been if i had only -

nevermind.

nothing's changed.

probably nothing will.

but...obviously i'll try.

even if it may mean failing terribly in the process.

like i've done all the time before.


- wah-slau-eh!


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